time to wake up..

july 29 ngaun..wednesday..tpos gbos na atenista nka business attire. gru lugod ang prom aga tgheld.haha.nwei so nklong sleeves aqng white ngunyan with matching black pants nd shoes. imaginin niu nlng. hehe. so bkt kaya and2 na nmn aq? hmm., wla mn. sbi q nga wla nmn aqng ibang mkausapp d2. ska its the time for me to really wake up and proceed with my life. ang dami na plang ngbago no? in almost 3 months after graduation ang rami ng nangyari. ang rami q ng n22nan. somehow let us take a look bak..

march 27 was the last rakrakan. un n ung pnkalast qng per4mance sa skul. being a part of the event since i was in first yr dapat nga may award nq no. hehe. 4 yrs na kaya aqng bokalista. nwei, un ulit ung tym na naunite ung batch. ung mga zephy na sg officers tlgang gnwa ung lhat pra maging the best un last. nd 4 me un tlga. sa set up sa lhat. so un nag champion ang chmpola as everyone has expected. in the end masaya ang lhat sa event at magdamag na nmn na kwn2han dhil hlos lhat ay ngslipover.

march 3o. birthday q. wla mn .ordinaryong araw lng pra sa akin. xmpre may mga nag grit mn. mjo mksuya lng ta c triksiya nklingaw. haha. dai daa kea nagaaram kng date. hmm.mext.

april 4. graduation day. no nid to elaborate kc obvious nmn na db?

april 14. batch outing. ok ung exprience. kulang2 mn kmi ok pa rin. d2 m tlga mpp2nayan na khit cno ang magkksma sa batch eh ok lng at comfortble na. auz no?

april 23..trix ska c alex nagduman sa hrong. haha. atigun na experience ta nagpralakaw kmi hnggng mkauli cnda. hai

may 7. nagenrol nq. adnu. tsk

june 3 classes na. hainku

july 4. nag prelims 2los..

july 313 ignatian day pra sa mga atenista. hmm. ok rin ung summary q no? sna nagets niu haha. bsta ang dmi na kcng naagbgo. un un eh.

With the worries that I'd give her in they told the worst of me
My wanting just to hold her head in my arms and feel her breathe.
No I'm not going to give you what you want so if you please
The sin that shapes your voice carries my ears this new disease

Did somebody take your tongue?
In worries of the words that you couldn't say,
That you couldn't save them from.
But I don't want to sleep without.
So I bid to you goodnight,
Tonight sleep tight my love.

The anxious through the calming storm,
You'll sit as you pray for rain.
I'll touch if you ask me to but how is up to you.
No I'm not going to let you get up if you struggle willingly.
I'll savor all your form to show you how and where I bleed.

You were so well behaved,
As you watched and made your way
This kiss for you engraved
This shift and spread your legs
You were so well behaved
You were so well...
Who taught these tricks that make...
You were so well behaved.

If the world stops turning girl,
You better not stop when I say...
And there aint nothing you could calm me down.
If the ground starts parting through the silence and the walk of the dead,
Everything here dies alone...

But I'm not quite sure what you've been told on labour day...
I'm not starting with you but the faint of heart.

c alekss din..

hmm. tingin q kc may magseselos na isa ksya gnwan q na rin xa. pro its not on the idea na taken 4 granted 2ng taong 2. i just wnt the world to know how much i value this person. so here it goes..

it will be almost two months since she left me here. that was the time i really could not believe she's leaving me. through the years there is only one very good thing she has done to me. SHE NEVER LEFT ME. quite easy you think? for her maybe. cause im really getting crazy trying to figure out why she's still here. she's still a BIG PART of me. a person who does not see his life as a blessing but a curse, yet there's sum1 named alex who revived his uncanny life. this, maybe, will remain as the biggest question of my life. yet i will choose this one to be left unanswered. for i know she's here not for a reason. not for anything. only for me. :) we have been throgh sorrows like any other peoplr. we have been through laughters that strenghthened what we have. most specially, we have ENOUGH time together. enough time to treat each other more than anything else. a feeling of fulfillment and happiness, yet it was never romantic. faith was established and its the one that holds us up to now. a thing we have really taken care of. a thing which can never separate us. and now that she is a thousand miles away. i really don't care. yea, somehow it has been that painful. but i know this was the biggest test of faith. for someone who have never left me behind, why doubt her? she's been with me throughout my life. there is nothing to worry about. she said it all.." mbalik pa aq.." nd that's all i need to know..:)

last time..

She said it's over and I don't stand a chance
She said it honestly, I wished that she lied
Her words said it all
Minus me, Minus the actions
And the understanding
She will never do
I never take advantage
And I don't have the guts
She dropped me out, and she's leaving me
It's the last time
Did I pushed too hard?
You didn't mean to make me cry
But that's okay who's wrong and understanding
You'll never understand
What you think and what I feel
Doesn't make any sense...

TRIXIA?!..

today is july 22. just 2 days from now its bin 3 months since i last saw you. way back 3 months i was so happy. i was so eager to see you. that same day we have our basketball game in camaligan. the same day you'll gonna leave.for gud?! i don't know.but i don't hope so. memories were still here with me. the moment i saw you with the excitement to talk with me.maybe for the last time . for now. we spent most of the time laughing and sharing our usual stories that made our lives easier.but i also remembered the moment when everything seems to be eaten by the midst of silence.everything was going dark.it was just a matter of seconds..and we will be miles apart. teary, yet you try to overcome the fear.our fear for the future.for what is at stake is too much.and everything will turn into something really do not know until now. phrases soon filled up the moments. yet there were no exact meanings to explain. with my thoughts of your departure, i have become so numb. just want to think that tomorrow you are coming back. maybe those four years we spent were not enough. for we both admitted we never have that much. but we have what we want. we have what we have nver expcted. we have what we have nver dream of. regrets were never in my heart. for i know you'll be back. the same old naughty friend which i treated as my little sister. you may not depend on me as you come back. i'll be the same 'kuya' you have found. that moment was one of the best. it was the best time to feel how far we have been through. yes, it was a time for goodbye. but it was more a time of giving thanks. i may not be the most important person for you nor the person you wish to be with, i'll still be here. nothing much has changed with the two of us. you are still you. i know things were not gonna be that easy as years passes by. specially with you out of my sight. but i know you will be back. i know you will. by that time i won't let you go. for i can't afford to lose you AGAIN. your letters are always on my binder. at least once a wik i've bin reading it. telling myself how lucky and foolish i am. lucky to have you with me. foolish to leave you go away with nothing but yourself. sorry for that. i may not be able to do my responsibilities to you. but you're still in my system. you're always be a part of me no one can ever replace. remember that, pls. always take care of yourself. missin' you much hir...:(

new chapters to reveal..

"here's a thousand souls i'll be killing
'cause our memories are worth dying
here i am still left far behind
but i know you can still find
with all my thoughts in you, i still don't now where to begin
finding myself within your presence is quite impossible
and now i have nothing to hold, how can i save myself?
the days have passed and we've become so numb
trying to get out of both systems
but i know i can't, because without you there's nothing i can
the waiting have ruined my soul
AND WITH MY ONE LAST GASPING BREATH
I'M SORRY FOR BLEEDING ON YOUR SHIRT.."


auz sa intro anu?haha. just want to appeal to my emotions kea nagkaralaag q yan.bhla nman kmu mag interpret kayan.haha.today's july 20.sa luwas aq nag intrnat ta lapa2 ang ateneo prming sarado ang student internet canter.haha.hmmm.nothing new in my life.ai sala.igwa plan.just have been appointed as an undersecretary of the adnu ssg.been working on the university issues, specifically the jurisdiction of smoking in the campus. it's my first wik nd expectations are quite high because i'm from this "elite" group of adnu people, the honor's class of business management.hmm.anu p ba?un prktis pa rin sa varsity.khit team b pa rin tau ok lng.sbi nga ni chris tiu hardwork and perseverance db?haha.siguro.hopefully nxt yr mgging team a na rin aq.nxt sem i'll be on my first tourney.quite excited but sumhow pressured.hehe.

as for sum upd8s in my future plans.hmm.i guess i have to give up my future military plans.yan.nanalo na kau alex ni trixia.hmp.i have these reasons which i think are all valid and are all enough to sacrifice what i want.what i really want since i was a kid.

1.ayaw nung dlwang taong mhlga sa akin..alex and trix were the ones responsible for convincing me to stay here in ateneo.even though we know it will be hard for the three of us to communicate with each other.yea.i have this passion for service that's why i joined cat.which eventually became a part of my identity as a person.with my intelligence officer beside me:) nothing went wrong during my last year of service.that's why we both became so attached with the org.pro khit gnun pa man.cla pa rin ung unang kmontra.my tym nung summer na hlos ito lang ang tpic nming tatlo.nd i guess i'll be making the right decision for them.mlayo na nga cla.bkt p q lalayo?khit mhrap ngaun may mga priomiz man 2ng duwa saq.nd i shud not be relying my future on some signs.they were the greatest reasons why i'm still here, why i'm still alive.metaphorically maybe.but 4 me it's so damn true.y make ourselves suffer because of my own plans?they did not becum selfish in entrusting their lives to me, y not do the same for them?mhrap na ngang gn2.ayoko ng dagdagan p ung pagiging stressed at bc nung dlwa.bsta e2 lng un.i'll wait 4 them.no matter what happens.that's the best thing i cud for the both of them..

2. ok na rin sa adnu..mjo nkaadjust na rin.and besises i have this contract with the university, signed a week ago, not to leave the school for my services. i was one of the designsted ateneans to promote its vision to be men and women for others. besides, i'm also a university scholar and part of the varsity team.aside from reason no. 1, i have the cotracts signed after i have made the decision. gus2 q dn nman mgtagal sa varsity team pra in 2 to 3 years pngalan q n ang cncgaw sa inter collegiate.ang appeal kaya.haha

3. gus2 q rin p2nayan sa lhat.lalo na sa parents q.na i'm worth it. i may have been disappointed until now for not studying in my dream univrsity. i'm just taking this as a challenge for me to prove them wrong.that i can excel in my own way in a different and unexpected field for me.pro dnt wri, its a pledge to myself na i'll be studying at UP no matter what.haha

4. normal na buhay nlng cguro. kc naicp q pag nwla aq for years mwwla aq a cstema ng mundo.gets niu??intindhin niu nlng.haha.bsta ngging contented na ri aq sa nangyayari sa akin.kea un..

ayan mjo nkrami nq..nxt tym ulit.klngan q pa mag encode ng reaxon paper q sa management.

may klase na nman pero yaun aq sa library.mau lng.mau kayang tcher sa english kaya napadpad aq dgd.as usual yaun na nmn dgd ang kdramahan.ang gbos na kauragan.dai q man kasalan kun mau aqng mkaulay dgd db?hehe.suapon july 12 ugmahon aq.nag apud kaya c mga pnkaimprtnteng tao saq, ol d way from UP.tsk.dwa mjo mtamlay daa aq sudma az lng.maugma tlga aq ning sobra ta nag apud cnda.gru ngani tanga ta cge lng qng ngirit.nmiz q kea mga kdaldalan k2.ni trksiya tpos ni alex.tpos may pasingit2 pa cna alfred tz marou.sbra lng nkkmiz ta d p bga q nkkget over sa hs.mau ng ibng drama anu?haha.mau lng.cguro pinipili q mn na arug nlng kni ta ok mn lng aqng arug kni.kc maugma man aqng "yaun" p cnda sa buhay q.hehe.

dwa mjo hralangkaw man ang grades q dgd dai tlga q kuntento.eu may mga brkada nman daa aq dgd pero ibhun lng.aq lng kaya ang gru kasta dgd.hehe.aq nlng 2ng kpai2 dgd.mau lmng mkrelate.bwct.iniicp q ngni anu dw kun nsa manila aq ngunyan.mskit man gru pero atlist yaun c mga taong kaipuhan q.c mga taong tlgang nagpphlga saq.nd cguro iyan c nmmiz q.c may taong gus2 maaraman kun auz lng aq.kd2 aq kayan ang cgeng hpot sa mga tao.nd dwa nuarin dai q p yan hinapot sa sdiri q.kc aram q man ang cmbag.ai sala.dq plan aram.tsk.sana mau nlng q dgd.k2 prmi aq cnsbhan na "sori kun prmi aqng nkdepende cmu..." pero ngunyan mas gus2 q nlng na magdepende pa nanggad cnda saq.kc ngunyan nrealize q na ol ds tym aq plan ang nkdepende sainda.ning sobra.aq plan c sobrang nagrely sainda.and i guess un ung mali q.na inasa q ung sarili q sa knila.pro worth nmn ang lhat eh.ok nq na alm qng npsaya q cla.na khit pnu may ngibo aqng mray2 pra sainda.kaya d man aq ngreregret sa gnbo q.pdngat q yng mga toang yan eh.dwa p gbus kmu ngunyan nprayo saq.mauragun pti ta srbay ngralayas.hainku.pro atlist maugma aqng iribhan cnda duman.na auz lng cnda.

dpat pgblik nndo dgd bstado p nindo aq eu?hehe.

ta mksuyaun bga dgd.gru aq tanga nagso2lo.haha.

geh.next tym nmn...

hmm july 8 na ngunyan.kktpos lng kang exam mi sa religion.mjo dai ngani aq nkaadal pro auz lng.nkksuya lng icipon na college na plan.mdramahun ano.gru kaya kasta dgd.ibhun n bga.grbe pti ang expectations smu ta honors class man daa.kun pwede lng mgshift shift pa manila.hehe.mau.nkksuya lng tlga.mau ng mxdong nag ppra gm ta busy2 n gbos.mau n c mga maliliga qng kklse.mau nqng kdamay sa rum pag naanggutan aq bqng arog ka2 na auz lng dwa magkaaranggutan.hehe.tpos nman ang prelims mi.nd weird man icipon dai pq nkkadjust dgd dwa yaun man giraray aq sa naga.inda q ngni.gru kaya may kulang.sa august 30 plan ill be taking the pma exams.kun my pkiaram kmu.hehe.mau lng.hnhnap q p kea tlga kun sain bya tlga aq pduman.drmahun anu.az lng yan.aram q man nmmiz man nindo mga dali q.hehe.bsta maauz man gru gbos.c mga taga manila n jan umauz kmu.hehe.ta dpat magblik kmung buhay.hehe.mjaramming p kita pag uruli nindo.ingat kmu gbos zephy.miz q n kmu.ingat prmi.

gru kasta ang college haha